CRUSTY BAP XMAS RAP

Parody music video | 2017

The only good thing to come out of my Christmas video that year, MC Crusty Roll (aka MC Crusty Bap) drops rhymes about consumerism, algorithms and… sleeping with your wife? Festive.

Written and edited by Dave Kinghan. Filmed by Richard Lavery.

Lyrics

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All you shoppers
Filling capitalist coffers
You’re the product being sold
Only buying what you’re told
You're just numbers on a spreadsheet
You reach zero, then you're dead meat
You're just data for the bots
Keep clicking while your brain cells rot
Cookies track you, ads attack
So they can profile and unpack you
Now they've cracked you
Now they've hacked you
Now they've trapped you in a feedback loop
Feedback loop
Feedback loop
Feedback loop
And now they've got you hooked
The algorithm builds prisons out of division
Don't listen to help or wisdom
Criticism is terrorism
We're all in competition
Don't deviate from your mission
We're heading for a collision
Here comes the cataclysm
I’m a rapping crusty bap
What the f*** you think of that?
My lyrics melt more brains
Than a chemical attack
Think you can bring me to order?
You're softer than the Irish border
I'm so certain I'll own you
I've got your soul on pre-order...
So let's get to business
Do you have any last wishes?
Before you're sleeping with the fishes
And and I'm sleeping with your missus
That probably sounds ambitious...
But I'm just too damn vicious
Better pray if you're religious
m*********er, happy Christmas